A Day in the Life of an Anti-Social Nursing Student

0645 – Wake up, realize you have to people today, and, like most days, today is not a good day for peopling.

0700 – Text best friend or significant other about how you literally cannot people today.

0745 – Sit in car for a few extra minutes listening to tunes so you aren’t obligated to talk to people before class

0755 – Exchange necessary niceties with classmates. Find seat and establish best rbf while burying attention in phone.

0758 – Get asked seemingly innocent question by classmate. Answer politely, but ramp the rbf up a couple notches.

0835 – Hide in unused classroom following exam. Play solitaire with actual deck of cards you brought.

1030 – Stay in seat during break because everyone else leaves. Enjoy quiet reflection about foley catheters and/or tacos.

1035 – Go to use bathroom as stampede of students return from bathroom. Keep hair pulled down in front of eyes if possible.

1057 – Exchange eye roll with trusted classmate regarding other students’ behavior and/or questions.

1114 – Exchange eye roll with instructor regarding other students’ behavior and/or questions.

1200 – Take lunch break off campus to nearest Sheetz. Surround self with people you haven’t spent 20+ hours a week with for the last 2 years.

1231 – Return to class just as the professor begins to lecture. Make no apologies.

1449 – Rub temples in exasperation

1500 – Practically run out the door and seemingly fly home

1534 – Collapse on couch from exhaustion of peopling all day. Pat yourself on the back because you did not, in fact, eat anyone today.